The relationship usually begins with a bang, “Wow,”he says, “She’s perfect. she worries a lot. “”Yes, “he sighs,”I really like guy. he really need me.” And from there begins a whirlwind of passion. Until reality sets in. In recent years, many authors have begun to write about a pattern very common in relationships. Books like the best-selling The New York Times, Women who love too much and others (Female / foolish choices, Men Do not Hate Women and the women who love them) to describe the syndrome in who is in love comes to mean being in pain.
For women, some of the symptoms of loving too much are:
As far attracted to men with problems that need your help. Believing the man to cure his emptiness and his problems. Leaving aside the interests of friends and be available for men. Feeling empty without him, despite being with him is often a disaster. Staying in a relationship, although it can endanger your well being – physical or emotional.
According to Robin Norwood, who specializes in treating this type of relationship, love love becomes too much when your partner is not appropriate, indifferent or not available – however, I can not give it up. In fact, we often try harder to please, wanting more. The men in these relationships are initially attracted to women whom they see as impeccable, giving and loving – saviors. They hope and pray that he finally fulfilled women can do to make your pain, heal all wounds. Are bitter and disillusioned when he discovers that, inevitably, to another woman your dreams you can not make them feel better about themselves.
In such relationships, both partners enter blindfolded. Women often has a great need to be needed and the need for control, while men often has a need to be saved. Unfortunately, the same intensity of these needs exclude the possibility of a healthy and satisfying. No one enters into a relationship by accident. If you’re in one, probably come from a difficult family situation in which their emotional needs were not met. Maybe it was not alcoholism or divorce or physical abuse. Or maybe just had a lot of fighting or competition or neglect.
Since first learning about relationships at home, who can not acquire the skills necessary to love best. We choose our partners and our love style in an effort to cope with painful or difficult childhood. Women often become caregivers, trying to win the love of caring for others. Men can learn to avoid the closeness, increasingly involved in work or sport or substance abuse.
All of us have, or have at some point in our lives, too much love. The problem arises when we move from a painful relationship to another, or remain in a negative long-standing relationship because we are afraid to leave. Because of this situation relates back to childhood patterns, it is often difficult battle alone. If you are in this relationship, the first step is deserve better decide on and commit to purchase. You could start by reading one of the books listed.
It is important to have support during work on these issues. Find a group people working on similar problems or find a mental health professional to talk to. Remember that love does not have to bear the pain. Healthy relationships, mutual can bring the greatest pleasure.